And then, if you asked some other guy, he just likes them because of the cool kills and nudity woodity. What anyone says will be tainted by their own experiences and inclinations. In other words, Part 2 is the best one, trailed closely by Parts 3 and 4. It was hard not to notice them in video stores, sitting all in a row within the horror section.
That was the safe kind of dangerous.
Friday the 13th: Ranking the VHS Box Art! | Dinosaur Dracula!
Whenever shit was about to hit the fan, the comforting visage of Mickey Mouse was three steps away. Video stores were a big deal back then, obviously, and the box designs were of crucial importance. In many cases, all we knew of our movie choices was what the boxes showed us. They needed to be as fetching as possible. I am going to rank the videocassette box designs for every Friday the 13 th movie. The criteria for these rankings is on box art alone. My personal feelings about each film will be completely discounted.
I shall pretend I know nothing about Friday the 13 th , aside from it being about a guy in a hockey mask who kills people. Friday the 13 th Parts I — X. It could be cat shit. If I knew nothing about F13, this box would not persuade me to change that.
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I hate Random Shadow Guy. Just a total shame, since Part 3 is one of the best films in the series. Anything but this. The remaining movies just had better boxes. Granted, going by that criteria kind of defeats the purpose of this review.
Vlad Dracula (Earth-616)
I can only go as low as 8 th place for a movie like Friday the 13 th Part 2. Hey, at least they upped the ante on the weapons front. Now we have an axe. Axe beats knife. I am vindicated. In Tarnington, Dracula sought the power of the demons Ypsilloth and Ryg, who had been trapped beneath the Jennings Mill for forty years but was thwarted by a man named Mason.
In Brass Monkey, New Mexico, Dracula took control of a prostitute and used her to break into the local blood bank. Dracula discovered the blood stored there was useless to him, and, adding injury to insult, he was also confronted by the elderly Father Vergilius Flotsky. At one point, Dracula was approached by the aged Orphelus , who claimed to need his help in once more reaching the infernal, rejuvenating Pool of Blood.
However, when the pair arrived at the pool, Orphelus used an ancient locket to return it to hell, claiming that immortality was a sin that others should be spared of. Years later, Dracula was opposed in India by a full-grown Rachel van Helsing. When Dracula tracked down and vampirized his old enemy Jamal Afari, his disciple vampire-hunter, Blade , swore vengeance against him.
Blade joined a group of vampire hunters who managed to stake him in China, but he was revived by Dracula's servant Kuai Hua, and her handmaidens. As revenge, Dracula killed most of the group, leaving only Musenda and Blade alive . At one point, Dracula learned of Jackson Kubbard, who claimed to be a reincarnation of his old rival, Cogliostro; Dracula had his coffin shipped to Manhattan to investigate, only to learn that Kubbard was a fraud, and suffer through withdrawal after drinking the blood of a drug addict.
Marie LaVeau had her servant bring Dracula's coffin to New Orleans, where he was drawn to a young girl he had recently vampirized. She obtained a sample of his blood for her immortality serum and proposed a more permanent alliance, but Dracula refused, irritated at being bound by force. Dracula vampirized CIA pilot Roberta Christianson, who continued to fight him afterward, ultimately crashing her own plane in an effort to destroy him. In Paris, Dracula met an American girl named Mary who, after years of failed relationships, actually embraced undeath as one of his brides.
When even Dracula abandoned her, she impaled herself on a stake. At one point, a Scotsman staked Dracula, sending him into his own Pit of Death. He mentally sent his agent, Comte St. Germaine to obtain the Amulet of Zarathos to revive him, but he was foiled by a young Sue and Johnny Storm. Eventually, Dracula's descendant, Frank Drake , inherited the castle, and his friend Clifton Graves unwittingly removed the stake.
Drake joined a band of vampire hunters, pursuing Dracula across America and Europe. In that time Dracula also encountered a zombified Duncan Corley , the Werewolf Jack Russell and Topaz   , the elderspawn Y'Garon  , and Elianne Turac , the life-extended daughter of his old nemesis . At this point Dracula usurped Castle Dunwick in London from Shiela Whittier , making it his latest Castle Dracula  and banishing the spirit of Shiela's father, who wanted to sacrifice her to the Darkling Gods .
Whittier broke free from Dracula, much to his surprise, and left him for David Eshcol . When Dracula killed her lover, she threw herself out of a window, choosing suicide over being his thrall . Dracula also suffered considerable agony when he entered the Vatican itself to slay Giuseppe Montesi and destroy the Montesi Formula. Montesi had already sent a copy of the spell, however, to Quincy Harker.
Some time after, Dracula crossed Doctor Sun , a human brain in a robotic body kept alive by fresh human blood . After several confrontations between them, Dracula was staked and burnt to ashes by Sun's assassin Juno . The situation eventually grew so desperate that the vampire hunters used Aurora Rabinowitz ' virgin tears to revive him.
Dracula and Blade then worked together to destroy Sun, though the doctor would eventually return. Dracula again became a father after marrying his third true wife, Domini. Domini was about to become a human sacrifice of Anton Lupeski 's Church of Satan, when Dracula interrupted, posing as the devil himself. When "Satan" demanded the girl so he might sire a son, Lupeski saw through the deception but hoped that child would be powerful under his control.
Lupeski married the two, and they had a somewhat demonic-looking son, Janus. When things didn't go as planned, Lupeski attempted several times to destroy Dracula. At one point, Lupeski summoned the cosmic Silver Surfer to destroy him, and they fought to a standstill before Domini convinced the Surfer to leave Dracula be. When a more mundane assassination attempt accidentally killed Judas, Dracula crushed Lupeski's skull.
Janus' death sent Dracula into a depression as he reflected on how each of his previous children had eventually turned on him. Domini magically resurrected the child, but it became merged with the troublesome Golden Angel. The composite being grew instantly to adulthood, going on to trouble Dracula for years.
As punishment for posing as Satan and siring Janus, Mephisto stripped Dracula of all his unholy powers.
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When Dracula became so desperate that he actually prayed to God for help, Mephisto was so amused by the irony that he restored Dracula's powers. Dracula then reclaimed the title Vampire Lord from the usurper Torgo Nia , just in time to be staked by a silver-spike-wielding Quincy Harker. Harker perished in the attempt, which also destroyed the latest Castle Dracula.
In one of his more bizarre resurrections, Dracula was revived by Florence Ebers to serve as the immortal body for her resurrected husband, Augustus. She used the Yazdi Gem to impose Augustus' personality on Dracula but destroyed the gem when he turned on her. Dracula also got caught up with the satanic Cult of the Enclave , and was forced to battle the life-draining Dimensional Man.
Later, Jacque McDonald started to merge minds with Dracula after she received a blood transfusion from her mother, a former victim. Dracula was weakened as Jacque began to take on his sinister personality, but she expelled his influence by force of will. Returning to the partially-rebuilt castle, Dracula renounced and slew his brides.
Dracula suffered an embarrassment when biting Howard the Duck left a bad taste in his mouth, sending him into a frenzy. After being manipulated by the Six-Fingered Hand , Dracula reluctantly sided with the Defenders against rival vampire Gordski. Dracula twice failed in attempts to make the X-Man Storm one of his vampire brides  . Dracula gained magical enhancements from the cult of Darkholders and ultimately became powerful enough to oppose the thunder-god Thor.
He was killed along with every other vampire on Earth, however, when Doctor Strange used the Montesi Formula . The spells of protection Strange had cast years earlier on his vampiric brother, Khiron weakened the spell, however, and it ultimately broke when Marie LaVeau used the vampiric verses to resurrect Varnae. The demon Asmodeus , worshiped as Satan by Lupeski's Church of Satan, drew back Dracula's spirit and reconstructed his body in Castle Dracula, inducing his servant, Professor Gregor Smirnof to revive him with the souls of students from his Belonging cult.
Dracula was thwarted by Blade, Frank Drake, Katinka , and inspector Judiah Golem, who wounded Dracula to such an extent that the purity of the sacrificed souls overwhelmed him, causing an explosion. Eventually, the real Dracula's spirit took advantage of the situation, displacing Drake and King freeing them , and making him master of the new body. Lilith Drake -- taunted by Dracula with the knowledge that the spells freeing her from vampiric weaknesses also meant she herself could never kill her father directly -- infected him with a blood virus created by Dr.
Charles Seward. Dracula was able to survive by feeding on Seward, who had used his own, cursed blood to create the disease. Dracula encountered the mutants of Generation X , and was later forced to work with Elsa Bloodstone , daughter of ancient rival Ulysses Bloodstone. The two opposed the Nosferatu vampires, who hoped to infect other, "pureblood" vampires with a virus that would make them into immortal blood-donors .
As the millennium approached, Dracula prepared for the Ritual of Ascendance, surrounding himself with armies of vampires from around the world to protect him during his weakened, incubation state. Dracula succeeded despite the opposition of a new group of vampire hunters, gaining immense power and growing to a gargantuan size. When Dracula took Divinity Drake as his vampire bride, Divinity revealed herself to be, in fact, the sorceress Aamshed.
Aamshed brought forth a mystic lodestone, which summoned the souls of everyone to be vampirized since the last Ritual performed by Varnae. Again, the purity of the souls overwhelmed Dracula, and Blade staked him for good measure to make sure he was destroyed. The remaining vampire armies in the area where destroyed in the spiritual backlash. Dracula returned once more, however, as Blade traced Spider-Man 's recent partial vampirization to Dracula.
Blade staked Dracula, noting that Spider-Man's radioactive blood would keep him safe from full, permanent vampirization. A corrupt division of S. Helicarrier in an effort to destroy the infestation . Dracula remained low for several years following that. He turned up later and met with Victor von Doom on Earth's moon. He proposed a non-aggression treaty with Doom, which enabled him to coordinate plans for an attack on England without encroaching upon any of Doom's prospective interests. Using the scientific wizardry at his coven's disposal, he genetically mutated vampire assassins with specific targets in mind - notably, the members of MI .
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Some time later, Dracula attended the gathering of all the vampire sects that happens every century. At the beginning of the meeting, both the leaders of the Anchorite and Atlantis sects expressed their concern about the expansion of humankind on their territory. The Atlantis sect leader blamed the lack of leadership on Dracula. Dracula's son Xarus said the Atlantean meant no offense but raised a good point, all while approaching his father's throne. He said the expansion of humanity was a problem, and vampirekind shouldn't run away from its territory.
Dracula responded that humanity had their world and that they had their own, and that it should stay like that. Xarus said one day, things would change, then staked his father through the heart. Dracula pushed away his traitorous son but was attacked by the leaders of the Nosferatu, Atlantis and Charniputra sects, who staked him several more times. Dracula finally fell and was decapitated with a sword by Xarus.
Afterward, Xarus ordered his father's remains be separated and asked from the other leaders to choose between siding with him or being exterminated. Twenty-four hours later, all of Xarus's enemies save his brother Janus had been exterminated and he had succeeded in becoming the new Lord of Vampires . But when Xarus and his army attacked the X-Men, they resurrected Dracula, who returned the favor and killed Xarus by ripping his head off .
Dracula attempted to unite all of the world's monsters under his control, but in order to do so, he had to marry Shiklah , the queen of an ancient kingdom of monsters, to which many still claimed allegiance. Dracula hired Deadpool , a mercenary whom the Weapon Plus program had rendered immune to telepathic control, to retrieve Shiklah from her resting place and bring her to New York City for the wedding. Deadpool missed his deadline, however, and Dracula ordered Deadpool to be killed, sending a dominated Werewolf by Night and the New Frightful Four , among others, against him.
Meanwhile, Shiklah's brothers, thought long dead, arrived at his home for the wedding - meaning that Shiklah was not a Queen, but merely a princess. His preparation will be slow and thorough. Never again will he meet defeat by the same ends A student's PhD research digs up more than she bargained for, and a renowned Haematologist discovers his ancestor, Van Helsing, was master of more than just medicine. Amidst a series of strange events and horrific discoveries, lands are being bought up in Scotland; renovation work begins in a quaint coastal village to restore a medieval castle ruin.
Does the prestigious restoration, and its new owner, hold any connection to the dark events unfolding? As a dark force rises, a secret history is uncovered - but could it even be believed? A desperate hunt for answers leads to the farthest reaches of darkest Europe; has an ancient foe returned to threaten mankind once more?