I way I can possibly address all of these things. If it requires putting in a conscious effort, this would mean I would have to live every minute of every day correcting everything I say, do, and think and questioning if things I am not concerned about are actually self-destructive and ALSO need to be changed. It is overwhelming and little by little over the years, I have found myself giving up as the weight of it just seems impossible.
I will spend so much time trying to change and being aware of the fact that pretty much everything about what I do and how I do it is harmful, and so not really living or getting to be in the moment. I always say that I have some form of self-worth but no self-esteem. It also be self-destructive-however well-intentioned it starts out being. The issue here is focusing only on the negative, on all the things you do wrong.
But what about all the things you do right? What about your openness to learn, your honesty and vulnerability in sharing here? As I wrote in the article:. Realize that self-destructive behavior is a sign of inner shadows and core wounds that have gone haywire. Be kind to yourself and realize that you have a metaphorical thorn lodged in your side.
Just pick yourself up and keep going. Thank you, Luna. I do understand. It just seems as though when you see so many ways you are self-destructive, it truly does drown out the good or at least severely obstruct your own view of your good. As a Virgo with Virgo dominant in most of her chart, I am prone to seeking perfection in myself and the world and letting go while knowing what to change and when and very difficult for me. But, thank you once again for the extra clarification and this wonderful article ALL of your wonderful articles.
This article was a great read…thank you for sharing. Help me to see what I have been locking away so that I may be free of the burden of pain. May my journey deepen as I learn how to be vulnerable and receptive towards my feelings. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability, Vernon. I started to discover that the issue was with my expectations: with wanting to eat perfectly and ideally in the first place, without giving myself a natural and acceptable margin of error. In other words, I was setting myself up for failure to begin with. We, as human beings, are multi-layered, and we have many sub-personalities.
The key seems to be mindful of these parts and give them attention, without becoming wound up in them. It seems to be a much more balanced lifestyle choice, in my opinion. Love how you said overeating was a nasty habit. Apparently you have more sympathy and acceptance for undereaters. You also make it sound like we should just be able to stop doing what is on this list.
We know the issues. We need help! I cannot express the gratitude that your website was referred to me by a dear soul… Paul Davenport. We never met face to face. He broke my heart. I have had extensive counseling in the past. Luna and Sol, You are both such gifted genius writers.. Self destruction has been such an integral part of my life that for much of it.. I had no idea there was a life or options outside of it, there was simply no awareness.. Thank you for the wisdom and help. Much love. Today I woke up with all my troubles starring me at my face. I was weak from the inside, I wanted to stay back home and cry it out but I knew its better to go to work so I dressed up and left, while I was at work, I started typing all my bad feelings and The tears came rushing out that I couldnt hold back, everyone in the office saw me shedding tears.
I wasnt embarrassed cos that was the least embarrassment I have experienced in the past few years. It seems like I was on a backward spiral, all I wanted seemed to be slipping away from my fingers.
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I turned 35 last month, I am so much under pressure to get married and start a home. Seemes everyone around me have been getting married while I keep watching. I meet someone and it ends almost in the same pattern. My quest for what is wrong with me led me to your writings which I have read each week. I am happy for those getting married and achieving big things all around me, but I am also tired of waiting and having my expectations crash before me. At work I feel so isolated, my colleagues ganged up against me last year at a point when I was going through another broken relationship.
I tried to manage the whole situation and kept a good relationship with them despite the fact that they isolated me. When I read about how bad things happen to bad people, it makes me ask if im a bad person for all that has been going on in my life, was I a bad person, maybe I was but I didnt know. My self search journey taught me stuff about me I never knew,how I didnt love myself, how I criticised myself and judged me so harshly. I couldnt let anyone love me either because I was fighting myself inside.
Now that I know better, I have tried to change some of my mindsets and behaviour to heal my core wound. Do i know who or what hurt me, not really! But I know I am not whole. I have read this article and digested it even as the tears are still flowing. I feel Im paying for all the suitors I rejected while I didnt know myself. It hurt most when I see them married with kids and some of them come back to mock me. Just wanted to express it here and that makes me feel better. I know I have been self destructing. Hi there Grandy. That must be really hard for you.
I can relate to the feeling of being the odd one out.
Why Are We Self-Destructive? (+ My Experience)
I also find what most people talk about boring and difficult for me to relate to but I play along anyway! Look to nature: different plants grow at different rates. You are on a sacred path that most people prefer to avoid and numb: the inner path, the path of self-discovery and healing. Bad things happen to good and bad people. What does matter is how you meet the experiences in your life, and how you choose to grow from them and let them make you stronger. Dawn, exactly the same with me!
As Altheia says, recognition of this dysfunction is a fantastic positive. It is the first step to remediation. Great article Altheia thank you. I have great days, albeit not many recently.
I have bad days, more often than not. Introspectively I want to achieve peace and harmony within. In my opinion, the best place to start is with self-love. I havw 2 other question, im sorry. Do a person with self destructive disorder have to have all the syntoms cause I only notice me having 2, 5, 6, 8, 11, 12, 13 , 14, 15, Just like a depressed person will not apply to every symptom. Join our free weekly newsletter and get lovingly hand-crafted, down-to-earth, soulful content every week in your inbox.
Skip to content Skip to primary sidebar Skip to footer. Why do I refuse help from people who have my best interests in mind? My role is to provide a safe, confidential environment, establish a strong therapeutic alliance, and offer tools to cope more effectively in the real world.
I am here and now focused. I provide a non-judgmental, respectful, supportive and empathetic environment that is centered on you, the client. I utilize evidence-based treatments to help you address the unhelpful thinking patterns that are leading to those negative emotions and behaviors you are experiencing.
I have a Doctorate degree in Counseling and have worked as a therapist for over 15 years helping children, adults and families with a wide array of issues. Erz Psychotherapy Services, P. Limited Licensed Psychologist. My name is Kathleen Erz. I am the owner of Erz Psychotherapy Services. I believe direct, honest, and caring communication is essential to effective therapy. I tend to have a straight-forward approach with people. Often old patterns of behavior or thinking get in the way of experiencing our potential. It is my job to help my clients get over their hurdles and through blocks in order to help them experience happiness.
My role as a therapist is to help people understand the challenges they are facing and provide the education, support, and emotional tools to navigate through them.
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My goal is to help by being a catalyst for change so my clients can explore themselves and find the strength to be the person they are striving to be. I do this by creating a safe space for my clients to share themselves in a non-judgmental, open and accepting environment. When you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, it is so important to know that someone really "gets" you, empathizes, and genuinely cares.
My ideal client is one that energizes my passion for integrative health. Many of those I have worked with have complex issues that are open to exploring the many layers of treatment that include assessing the mind, body and soul. I firmly believe that you can not get to your best personal level of healthy living without practicing an intersection of practices. Using a body-based and holistic approach, I see myself as a companion on the journey with individuals to building stronger self-awareness, personal growth and wellness.
I also believe that how the client thinks about a challenge directly impacts how they react or act. Creating a relaxed and trusting environment where the client feels comfortable, is key for them to be able to gain a better understanding of themselves. This leads to the ultimate goal of transition, advancement, and success. Office is near:.
I believe that therapy is a cooperative process that requires a strong,trusting relationship between a client and the therapist. I provide a safe,supportive,non-judgemental environment for you to explore personal issues, dilemmas, and concerns in a professional setting. Therapy can be used to address problems as well as existential concerns, dreams, fears, and life transitions. I work with people of all races, cultures, religions, sexual orientations, and gender identities. I am passionate about my role and calling to provide Christian and Psychological counseling to children and adults.
I am a calm and warm individual who is focused on treating the whole person. I have over 15 years of experience working with children and adults in the Detroit Metro area and suburbs. The goal of counseling sessions is to assist you in developing coping techniques to better handle changes to your lifestyle.
I returned to school and earned a Ph. D in Psychology. I specialize in working with adults of all ages, children, adolescence, couples and families. I employ a variety of techniques such as mindfulness, insight oriented inquiry, Yoga and traditional talk therapies. I do believe that we can change our lives if we change our thinking. At times we come to a place when our thoughts become unbearable and feel overwhelmed and confused.
When we are open to acknowledging our suffering we then become willing to explore our pain. Andrea Andrzejczak Psychologist , PhD. With therapy,people gain insight into themselves and can make real lasting change. If you would like to see a transformation and grow as an individual I am here to help you achieve your goals. I also focus on the problems adjusting to life: grief and loss, divorce, job loss, low self-esteem, no friends, just feeling lost. Where do they come from and why are they so hard to change? Perhaps those behaviors are connected to something in your past - something you've spent a long time avoiding.
MCPT therapists are trained in providing trauma-focused psychotherapy and in treating symptoms and reactions that are a result of trauma. Talking things out can help in the most unexpected ways, especially in an environment that provides empathy, compassion and understanding. If change and healing are what you're seeking I would like to help. Call or email today for an appointment. Refine Results Weight Loss.