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Even then leaders were coming out and saying it wasn't the way things were in reality. If there are some missionaries who haven't been paying attention and are teaching it to converts, that is unfortunate, but if they are, it is because they are going outside the structure of Preach My Gospel. For me, what is beautiful about the idea of soul mates is that we can become through our own choicenot because it is forced upon us by our eternal naturesto become such to each other that we are truly one, that our souls belong to each other because we chose each other not only in the first moment of encounter if that were to happen but in every moment thereafter.

My husband was not my soul mate when we first met, I could have walked away from the relationship without tearing my heart and soul out. Now I can't and that is because of what we have chosen for our relationship, not because we had to, but because we wanted to. I find that much more inherently romantic than the idea of being forced to love someone no matter what that person is really like or whether I want to or not. I don't think it stems from Polygamy. I think people can become soulmates. I have heard a General Authority say something like he doesn't believe that people picked their spouses in the pre mortal life, maybe some do but generally speaking we didn't.

I think you could be married quite well to several people. I believe there may be some relationships that have been 'appointed', Adam and Eve for one, probably Mary and Joseph, Abraham and Sarah for others. I also believe the vast majority of relationships are a result of mortal circumstances, not premortal I'm honestly not seeing the problem. I've been a member of the church since i was ten, and i've served a mission, and have never heard anyone teach any kind of a notion of a soul mate.

I've seen the silly show Saturday's Warrior and think it's hilarious but i've never met anyone who sincerely believed that it taught doctrine though they are probably out there somewhere. Teenagers often have such notions because they are naturally immature when it comes to what love is and what it means to be in love but every leader i ever had growing up worked to get such ideas out of our heads.

The fact that there isn't just one person in all of existence that someone can love eternally and be completely devoted to does not in any way negate or dim the beauty of eternal marriage. In fact, as Cal said, it is actually much more romantic to realize that when two people have an eternal marriage, it's because they choose to have one, and have worked very hard for it and for each other , and not because it fell into their laps and was forced upon them through some weird choice of 'destiny'.

I choose my husband. Not because i can't be happy without him, but because i don't want to be. How can the idea of soul mates be any better than that? The Mormon perception of soulmate comes not from any teachings of the church, but from a musical widely performed in the 's throughout mormon communities. It told the story of a couple who promised to find each other on earth so they could be married and together through eternity.


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Some members then started thinking that they were looking for and must find THE one to marry. While many of us have heard people testify that they personally found one whom they believed they had promised in the pre-existence to marry, and it certainly could be true of some, it is neither church doctrine nor even possible unless the Lord disavows agency for that to be a universal truth. Leaders' efforts to encourage people to look for compatibility and someone who makes us want to be our best selves and not be afraid that we screw up if we don't feel the magic of a soulmate romance experience isn't intended to undermine and doesn't counteract OP's belief.

It merely attempts to eliminate an excuse some people have for delaying marriage because they think they should be looking for the one perfect one for them. But I do think in the pre existence, that we meet several several potential soul mates. I do think also that in the Christ's reign that those couldn't get married but want too, could get married during that time. Thanks thatjimguy for blowing up the font. I don't think my relationship with my wife was predestined, just that I knew her and loved her before.

I also agree that there could be more than one person that you can become soulmates with. They are just few and far between.

The Wisdom of Soulmates: The Appointed Spouse

A friend of mine passed on marrying a gal back in the s, she has been happily married for quite some time now, but he to this day measures each woman he meets to this woman. He won't date and he'll probably never marry because none measure up to the one he passed on.


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  • I am out here at BYU-I. I do not think that this idea of "no special one" is what is people are shooting for. When these people think about forever, by and large, it looks like the hopeless romantic version to me. If the above is doctrine and eternal marriage being so critical, how come more effort isn't brought forth to denounce romantic notions like these girls find in Disney movies?

    Most girls up here watch Disney movies and want "that one". Thatjimguy, generally, when I think about 'forever and ever' it's a 'forever and ever future' not a 'forever and ever past' so much, I'd say. And yeah, I'm a hopelesss romantic. But I don't believe in the concept of soul mates. I just think it's an issue of dedication and service, and that makes me happy.

    This seems to grind against the way Eternal Marriage is portrayed. It's as if we are interchangeable, and which we are not, most definately. Different strokes for different folks! All of it stems from polygamy when it comes from the GA's. But the Church is far more than the wisdom dispensed by the GA's. Marriage is supposed to be more than a contract of mutual commitment. It IS supposed to be romantic. That it most often seems to not be romantic is one of the ills of this world, imho.

    I am incurably, inevitably, romantic in my core being. I've had a lot of my romanticism beaten and worn out of me. But I retain the core of my romantic outlook still. And my wife is the beneficiary of that. Most of our married life well in excess of thirty years has been saddled with the usual "Real Life" concerns, but with "empty nesters syndrome" looming in the immediate future, we have devoted more time to each other, or rather, I have acknowledged my wife's intent to do that even more, even as she has become more busy than ever with simply maintaining herself to be a healthy person.

    I have willed myself to see our relationship as "the one", and even written a book centered upon us as the protagonists, in a half-fictitious setting, and I have done this all with the intent to make my marriage more meaningful in the romantic sense - and not just the earthly romantic sense, but the cosmic, the immortal romantic sense.

    I have shared my view on "God as the soul-mate" relationship here already. But in a nutshell, my favorite concept of "God's" purpose in creating us is to have us arrive at the point as immortal soul-mates for "God" to enjoy, and for us to enjoy "God" back in the same way. We experience "God" through experiencing the One.

    That is why polygamy is pretty darn close to being the most disgusting heresy I can imagine A relative found her soulmate and was married in 6 weeks when they eloped to LV. By a year later neither of them saw the other as their soulmate anymore and eventually he came to her and said he was leaving because 'love was something one shouldn't have to work at' I have heard of many others who married their soulmate to later divorce when they found that 5 or 10 years later their 'souls' were no longer the same and thus the mating was no longer in effect.

    That is why I don't believe in a "soulmate". Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

    Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

    And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

    The steps of a man are established by the Lord , when he delights in his way;. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

    For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;. An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.

    But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

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    It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord! For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union?

    And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

    Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,. A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives.

    But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

    The Wisdom of Soulmates - The Appointed Spouse (Paperback)

    Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

    For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land. An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

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    I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! To grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord , that he may be glorified.


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    • I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. A lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her, and your land Married; for the Lord delights in you, and your land shall be married.

      For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you. Wait for the Lord ; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.

      And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. By this we may know that we are in him For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you.

      For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.

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      You shall be blessed above all peoples. There shall not be male or female barren among you or among your livestock. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. The hand of the Lord was upon me, and he brought me out in the Spirit of the Lord and set me down in the middle of the valley; it was full of bones. And he led me around among them, and behold, there were very many on the surface of the valley, and behold, they were very dry. Thus says the Lord God to these bones: Behold, I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. What the wicked dreads will come upon him, but the desire of the righteous will be granted.

      He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.